SomeMaybe: He Haz Potential (Part Two)

So he went to Cancun.  And I stayed here.  With just enough boredom to keep me *browsing* his Facebook and reviewing our text conversations.  But not so much boredom that *browsing* becomes stalking and reviewing becomes obsessing.  And I know what you're thinking...uh...what's the difference.  And the answer is whether you do it in a positive or negative light.  And my sunshine was sunshiney.  Mostly I was just checking dude out.  And trying to confirm whether or not he was A. funny like my head was telling me he was and B. that our conversations were adorable like my head was telling me they were.

Attesting to humor is kind of hard.  That's what she said.  No, seriously.  Because here's the thing.  Sometimes I have quirky funny conversations.  With IRL people.  With Twitter people.  And they're hilarious because it's the two of us being bizarrely weird.  Which is awesome.  But when you're talking to someone you might go on a first date with.  You don't necessarily say all of that.  So after reviewing the tapes I can't really confirm that he's hilarious.  But I do know this.  We had text conversations.  We had an hour long phone conversation (on my cell phone...so you know that means I was interested...using up my minutes!).  And I laughed.  So whether he's funny.  Or we're funny together.  Or he just puts me in a good mood and the laughter follows suit.  Things were looking good.

As for whether or not our conversations were adorable.  I'd say they were.  Rereading back I scan past several times when I said something funny (and that he agreed with) that caused him to respond with things like...alert your friends...we're definitely getting married (don't freak out, he was just saying it for effect).  So things were definitely cute and cuddly.  He seemed certain that we would get along just fine and have tons to talk about on our date.

So the irony is that before he went to Cancun, he seemed the one much more upset we had to wait to meet.  I was like a week...pshhtt...that's nothing.  Until Monday night rolled around and I realized it'd only been 2 nights.  Fuck me.  This was going to be a long week.  And so I did what any self-respecting girl would day.  Ate like a bird and worked me ass off at the gym.  When life gives you a week...you put that week on a diet...or something like that.

But I will admit.  I was excited.  About a boy.  Like really fucking excited.  Like thank goodness they're not all super retarded.  Like I wasn't sure if I'd ever find a boy even close to worth swooning over.  But I was also rational.  You don't fucking know him at all.  Settle the fuck down.  Chill the fuck out.  And for fuck's sake stop telling people about him.  Okay that last one was a little hard.  I vaguely recall telling a few people at a Hockey watching soiree his hilariously adorable nickname...HAZmazing.

I mean he works for Haz Mat.  I thought he'd be amazing.  HAZmazing.  This shit just writes itself, no?  But then someone asked.  What if he isn't...amazing?  To which I responded HAZmisappointment?  *insert rolling on the floor kind of laughter*.  But seriously, what if he turns out to be retarded like all the rest?  And again.  This shit just fucking writes itself.  HAZard.  Double meaning built in.  *Throws up hands and walks off stage it'll never get better than this!*

And that was Friday night.  I only had to wait one more day for him to get back from vacation.  And though there was a twinge of disappointment that he hadn't contacted me say by Thursday or something to firm up plans for the weekend and our first meet, I totally understood.  And I couldn't really be a hypocrite could I?  Because the thing of the thing is this.  I'm just under 4 weeks I'm going to the Bahamas for a wedding (SO EXCITED!!! which you may already know if you follow me on Twitter).  And even if on some ridiculous spin of events HAZmazing and I were dating vigorously (I can't bring myself to call dating serious with a time elapse of less than a month...even in the hypothetical form).  I wouldn't be contacting him from BTown.  Seriously, yo!  I'm going for 6 nights.  And I plan to spend them enjoying all that family and fabulousness have to offer.  I will NOT be worried about what's going on back home.  Deuces! I'll call ya in a week...or something like that.  So I can't really fault a dude for not contacting from Mexico to make a date with a chick he's never even met.

Saturday rolled around.  He was supposed to get back at 8.  10:30 rolls around and dude texts me.  SCORE!  He asks my schedule.  It's mostly open except for Wednesday night.  He's flying to Prince George Tuesday and getting back Thursday? Friday???  At the time I don't ask why he doesn't know when he's getting back or why he's going up to PG.  I'll either ask on the date or not my biz ya know.  So that leaves Sunday or Monday I say.  Monday night he says Done!  Firm up details Monday morning?  And I respond Sounds great.  Because it did.  I was so excited!

But here's the thing.  We were only in contact for 3 maybe 4 days before he left.  But those days were FILLED with texting...seriously, Filled.  But after he got our only 2 text convos have been about date planning.  No real conversation.  No voice conversation.  Just...details.  And the thing is.  I assumed he'd text Monday morning.  But 11:45am rolled around and no text had come to firm up details.  Now I know there's all those rules about always letting them contact you and stuff.  But A.  I wasn't going to waste my day thinking I'd have a date only to never hear from him.  Rather get it sorted right away.  Or B.  So far he'd ALWAYS been the contact-initiator so I figured one time...no biggie.

My apprehensions were relieved when he replied almost immediately.  Clearly he was interested.  Right?!?!  He suggested coffee or he could cook us dinner (mmm steak).  So funny how boys really don't get what it is to be a lady and having to be careful...you don't...ya know...get murdered.  But even more than that...why aren't they worried I could be such a complete and totally horrible dud and then I would be in their apartment and Man Alive that would be fucking awkward.  But I digress.  Picked a coffee shop.  Halfway between us.  7:30pm.  See ya then :)