The Announcement.

So here it is folks.  The announcement.  That is likely irrelevant to most of  you.  But very important in my life nonetheless.  Because it changes everything.  Completely.  Alters everything.  Wholly and fully.  My approach to dating will be different.  The boys in my life will be different.  Different.  Different.  Different.  The balls in my life, that would have been satisfied in my life, will be denied.  Denied.  Denied.  Denied.

See the thing is.  I've always felt I was hard to get.  In the quality sense of the word.  As in.  I'm a quality chick.  A boy would be lucky to have me (as I would him, assuming he's awesome).  And to get into my heart.  Well that's pretty fucking hard.  Just sayin'.  But somewhere along the way I got all mixed up with what I thought being nice and breezy and go with the flowy wise.  Plus the whole ya know...used to having sex like a dude...slash...thinking about sex like a dude...slash...wanting sex all the time like a dude.  Really clouds your judgement sometimes.  Just sayin'.

So perhaps I've been going about this all wrong.  This whole dating thing.  So here's the change.  And I know it'll sound simple at first.  Oh so very simple, you might not even spot the difference at first.

I.  Will.  Be.  Hard.  To.  Get.

Simple I know.  Easy peasy you'd think.  Got it.  But the thing is.  This isn't a rules type thing.  I'm not going to be playing hard to get I'm actually going to be fucking hard to get.  Genius I know right.  And yes I'm well aware ladies and men the world over are aware of this concept.  But don't hinder my growth.  This is new for me.  So I'm going to say it again.  One more time.  Just to make it really clear.

I.  Will.  Be.  Hard.  To.  Get.

So this is me, SSDated, telling all of you.  Kind of like a contract.  I will be accepting no shit.  I will not be stooping from my station.  I will not be getting down and dirty in heated nights of passion strings flapping in the breeze.  I will be sexless.  And focused.  Mamma's got her head on straight.  Because you know what.  Even in the conceptual round of booty calls.  I've been accepting too little.  In the future I will only be dating boys who are gentlemen, who think I'm beyond fantastic, who swoon for me.  In the future I will only be taking part in raucous romps with a man who is so intensely into me he can barely contain himself.  He should think I'm so beautiful it hurts.  So funny he might die.  So delicious he never needs food again (don't worry though I make a mean sandwich, I'll keep him fed).  Now I'm not saying he has to be nuts...and fall in love with me overnight because that's not what I mean.  But here's the thing of the thing.  I will not hold my breath for boys who think I'm awesome but there's something "missing".  I will not waste time on boys who feel I'm "awesome" just "not awesome enough".  

And who knows.  Maybe between all the studying.  I might find that I.  Meet a boy.  Worth swooning over.  And not simply because we're feeling lusty at that exact moment.  A fickle bitch that lust is.  But someone of quality.  Who sees that I'm of quality.  And feels swoony for me in return.  And his Chuck Norris sized balls.  To go after what he makes.  To claim his prize.  Me.  Because after all.  Maybe there is a boy out there worth  waiting for, who one day might say those words that I would then return right back [I'm Retarded For You]